We’ve all witnessed a person close to us struggling with self-confidence issues.

What’s easier to see in others is often more difficult to see in ourselves. We justify. We overlook. We tell ourselves we won’t do something because it’s in our best interest, when deep down inside we know it’s out of fear.

Have you ever let fear stop you?

You stayed home instead of putting yourself in an uncomfortable social situation where you might make a new friend.

You held back from writing a book or creating a piece of art because you might be judged.

You avoided a new hobby, exercise routine, or diet because you might not do it right.

You held back from learning a new skill because you might embarrass yourself.

These things often plague us our entire lives. What’s more, if you find them holding you back when you’re young, they often compound and become deeper set into your life as you age.

Stop the pattern today. Self-confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s an ability you can change over time. It’s a mindset that you can feed by doing little things in your life every day.

Self-confidence is defined as: A feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. That means you have to start trusting yourself to take care of YOU in the best way you can. Prove it to yourself. Step up and do something new.

Groom yourself. Get a new haircut. Buy better fitting clothes. Dress up even if you’re staying and working for home. There’s something about feeling better if you spend just a little bit of time looking your best.

Think positive. Watch and listen to how you talk to yourself. Do you fill your head with “I can’t?” Consciously turn this around and tell yourself positive things. Write it on sticky notes and post them around your home if you have to. Train your brain to say yes instead of no.

Be kind and generous. A little act of charity goes a long ways. Our society is training us right now that “everybody” is out to get us. Not true. Does it matter if someone pulls in front of you on the highway? Back off and smile instead of letting it turn into a rage. Pay for the coffee of the person behind you without expecting anything in return. The more you think about the “good” in the world, the more your viewpoint changes.

Prepare. Part of what holds us back is the fear of the unknown. Prepare for every uncomfortable situation and you’ll approach it with a better mindset. If you’re taking an exam, set aside the time to study. If you’re going to a new event, map out the directions and do a little research on who will attend. Your confidence builds by taking away the unknown.

Reduce the size of your goals. Sounds counterintuitive to the “big goal” movement, doesn’t it? Yet big goals can often feel like mountains we can’t climb. Chunking it down helps us reach them faster. Instead of “writing a novel,” how about “write chapter one?” A thousand words are much easier than facing 50,000 words.

How have you improved your self-confidence?