Have you lost that lovin’ feeling? Are you trying to discover a path back to what you once had when you first started dating?
Connection takes work. The work doesn’t end when you slip a ring on the finger. Instead, it’s a lifetime commitment, staying connected in a meaningful way.
Touch
One of our most basic needs is to be touched. Even just a moment of touch can help you feel connected and feel loved. No matter how busy you are, take the time to kiss hello or goodbye, hold hands, give a hug. Try hugging for thirty seconds, or kissing longer than 5 seconds. Magic happens with just a little effort.
Gratitude
No one likes to feel taken advantage of. And it’s one of the most frequent complaints of married couples who have been together for years. Don’t forget to thank your spouse for the little things: how have they made your day a little easier? If you feel like it’s all take and no give, you have to start somewhere. Sometimes expressing gratitude can trigger the same in your spouse.
Listen
Stop and take the time to listen to what your spouse has to say. A simple question can reveal a lot. Try “how was your day” or “what happened at work today.” Then really listen to what they have to say. Open-ended questions can spark conversation. It’s up to you to put away distractions and really listen.
Digitally Disconnect
Have you ever spoken with someone while they pay attention to their mobile devices too? Not much fun. You wonder why you’re even bothering. When you get home, have a drop-off point for your mobile devices and put them away, especially while trying to connect with your spouse. Without a distraction, you can provide your undivided attention where it’s needed most.
Show Your Love
Have you ever thought “he knows” how you feel? That can lead to frustration. Instead, show your love. Write notes and leave them where he’ll find them. Send romantic texts just for him. Surprise him with things you know he’ll love. This always sets the stage for more.
Flirt
When was the last time you flirted with your spouse? Buy a new dress, just for him. Try a new fragrance, just for him. Read a book you know he’ll like to have an in-depth conversation. Think back to what you liked to do when you were dating - do that all over again.